Conspiracy TV?

Here I am at home resting after having had an operation under local anaestetic, overseen by a fantastic Nigerian nurse who kept telling me "you are being very strong", am I? "Ho yes, you are a very brave man", hmm, I knew the truth, I was scared to death, my blood pressure was 147/103 which must be up there with Alex Ferguson when United are only one nil up.
I recovered to 132/88 after the op but the theatre staff said "you bled a bit", thankfully I didn't see the fountains of blood gushing out of my head and probably shouldn't have looked at the wound quite so soon afterwards as I went into shock and needed medicinal rum to stop my body from shaking.

So taking a week off work to recover and feeling rather bored as I'd watched all my DVDs and even resorted to watching videotapes (for those of you born in the early 90s have a look on Wikipedia for a description). I turned to the television for a bit of inspiration, BBC1 from 10a.m to 1p.m Homes Under the Hammer, To Buy or Not to Buy, Cash in the Attic, Bargain Hunt. I was beginning to wish I was back in the office, then I thought "maybe that's what they want".
Had I uncovered a Government conspiracy to force people back to work? If you only have the four or five channels to watch, (five being notoriously difficult to receive a signal from) you really don't have much choice. But I then started surfing through the cable channels and discovered that you can watch pretty much non-stop Only Fools... or maybe you fancy back to back Keeping up Appearances? Not for me thank you, although I have now seen every episode of New Tricks four times, oh dear, I'll be wearing comfy shoes and a beige coat before long.

Luckily for me the History Channel was a lifesaver, Titanic is a subject that is seemingly an inexhaustable vehicle for documentary makers. The second world war is also a much used topic and I have been enlightened, for instance I didn't know that Somalia was part of Britains Empire and was invaded by the Italians and that Catholics and Protestants were killing each other in Paris in the 1600s. So if these history programs were on terrestrial tv just think of the numbers of people who would go off sick, unthinkable, anyway I digress.
The whole thing of making money from antiques or objet d'art that may be knocking around the house has come about from the greed that has been deep set in our psyche for two decades now.

If you have got up the property ladder as far as you can go, what's next? Attic conversion perhaps? yes, and what to do with all the stuff from the attic, of course, you take it to an auction where a slightly northern gent with a posh voice and a moustache will guide you through the process. Or worse still an orange skinned wide-boy in a silver double breasted suit will spit his thoughts and obversations all over you. It's a circle that doesn't look like being broken for some time which is a shame as the television can be a very educational medium, as for me I'll reach for a book until the next History Channel documentary at 2p.m, the Loch Ness Monster-Ultimate Experiment.