The latest television ad for Confused.com paints a rosy picture for those of us who are just too busy to go around getting different quotes from insurance companies.
So with my home contents insurance about to expire I thought I'd give it a go and out of all the quotes one stood out as fantastically cheap.....too good to be true cheap. If it looks too good to be true then it probably isn't true but I went for it anyway. One insurance company were offering me cover at £53.83 almost half the cost of everyone else lets give em a ring shall we?
'Good morning sir you're through to Dave how can I help you today?'
'I'd like to take out this insurance policy please'
'certainly sir would you like to add on personal legal cover at £15 for the year?'
no thanks
'I'll add it on just now and if you don't want it we can take it off at the end.......would you like key cover at £25 for two sets of keys?'
'errr not really'
'I'll add it on just now and if you don't like it we can take it off at the end.....would you like to add accidental damage?'
'errr go on then'
'right that's a grand total of £178.74 minus your £20 cashback offer today the £20 will appear in your bank account sometime in the next ninety days so now that's £158.74 how does that sound?'
'it doesn't sound anything like £53.83'
'well lets take off the key cover and the personal legal assistance and its £118.03 how does that sound?'
'It's still not £53.83 is it, I want that policy which you quoted'
'I'm sorry sir the best I can offer you today is £71.27 with Fortis'
'There's no point continuing this conversion'........sound of phone smashing into its cradle
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Anthem For England
We've just been debating God Save The Queen, not the concept of saving her like if she was drowning or stuck up to her waist in a peat bog or something nor the artistic merits of the Sex Pistols tune but the national anthem.
What do we all think of the National Anthem? thats the National Anthem of Great Britain.......(whats Great about it?) Whats not great is that its used as the national anthem of England which is wrong. England needs it's own anthem for sporting events, we should grasp hold of our identity and shout it out, be proud to be English but there you have a problem. If you proclaim your Englishness in our multi-cultural society you are by default making a racist statement, Saint Georges Day is celebrated less by English people (especially students) than St Patricks Day.
On the subject of racism there is a case in this area where a couple complained about the mess left behind by modern day highwaymen known as travellers and the cost to the local authority to clear it up but because they called them Gypsies and weren't too complimentary about them the council could not take their case up because the couples complaint was deemed to be racist in the eyes of the law saying their views 'contained statements that are based on negative assumptions about gypsies, travellers and travelling showpeople and / or could be construed as offensive'.
Sorry, I went a bit off track there back to the national anthem.
der der der der der der
der der der der der der
well thats the first two lines of God Save The Queen, it's a dirge and very uninspiring thats my view, give us Land of Hope and Glory or Jerusalem. This site goes into a bit more depth, I vow to thee my country is another contender..........now where did I put my tablets?
http://anthem4england.co.uk/
What do we all think of the National Anthem? thats the National Anthem of Great Britain.......(whats Great about it?) Whats not great is that its used as the national anthem of England which is wrong. England needs it's own anthem for sporting events, we should grasp hold of our identity and shout it out, be proud to be English but there you have a problem. If you proclaim your Englishness in our multi-cultural society you are by default making a racist statement, Saint Georges Day is celebrated less by English people (especially students) than St Patricks Day.
On the subject of racism there is a case in this area where a couple complained about the mess left behind by modern day highwaymen known as travellers and the cost to the local authority to clear it up but because they called them Gypsies and weren't too complimentary about them the council could not take their case up because the couples complaint was deemed to be racist in the eyes of the law saying their views 'contained statements that are based on negative assumptions about gypsies, travellers and travelling showpeople and / or could be construed as offensive'.
Sorry, I went a bit off track there back to the national anthem.
der der der der der der
der der der der der der
well thats the first two lines of God Save The Queen, it's a dirge and very uninspiring thats my view, give us Land of Hope and Glory or Jerusalem. This site goes into a bit more depth, I vow to thee my country is another contender..........now where did I put my tablets?
http://anthem4england.co.uk/
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Runners-Up League
The Liverpool followers at work are unbearably smug this morning, when asked if I saw the 'footy' I said 'No I didnt watch FOOTBALL I listened to Exeter v Bournemouth on the radio, a proper game in a league that actually means something to me not some farcical runners-up league in which teams who finish 2nd 3rd and 4th in their respective countries play for the European Cup, a trophy which once meant something when the Champions of the said leagues played each other for the right to be the best team in Europe.
Liverpool won this competition after they finished way back in fourth place in the Premier League, surely thats wrong? I mourn the passing of the Cup-Winners cup and the way the EUFA cup has become a disjointed carousel of knockout qualifiers followed by group stages then the remaining teams are joined by the Runners-Up League cast offs and goes back to a knockout basis.
The joke game in the Runners-Up League last night was the German Champions Bayern Munich thrashing Portugals third best team 7-1 which became 12-1 on aggregate, what a team they must be to lose five nothing at home.
The likes of Rotherham, Luton and Bournemouth who have been deducted points just because they owned up to being skint should be rewarded with cash injections from the Football League the FA and EUFA not get fines and points taken away that in Lutons case will see them losing their league status and playing in the Conference next season.
Chelsea operate on a loss making basis every season, Roman bless him writes a cheque to cover the deficit (usually around the £100m mark) how is that responsible business practice? I don't see Chelsea starting the Premier League with a minus 17 points total, even if they did they'd still probably qualify for the runners-up league because the gap now between the rich clubs and the rest has widened so much, ok Everton and Villa have a pretend go at a top four finish but I'll be very surprised if it doesnt end up tediously with United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal......again.
Liverpool won this competition after they finished way back in fourth place in the Premier League, surely thats wrong? I mourn the passing of the Cup-Winners cup and the way the EUFA cup has become a disjointed carousel of knockout qualifiers followed by group stages then the remaining teams are joined by the Runners-Up League cast offs and goes back to a knockout basis.
The joke game in the Runners-Up League last night was the German Champions Bayern Munich thrashing Portugals third best team 7-1 which became 12-1 on aggregate, what a team they must be to lose five nothing at home.
The likes of Rotherham, Luton and Bournemouth who have been deducted points just because they owned up to being skint should be rewarded with cash injections from the Football League the FA and EUFA not get fines and points taken away that in Lutons case will see them losing their league status and playing in the Conference next season.
Chelsea operate on a loss making basis every season, Roman bless him writes a cheque to cover the deficit (usually around the £100m mark) how is that responsible business practice? I don't see Chelsea starting the Premier League with a minus 17 points total, even if they did they'd still probably qualify for the runners-up league because the gap now between the rich clubs and the rest has widened so much, ok Everton and Villa have a pretend go at a top four finish but I'll be very surprised if it doesnt end up tediously with United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal......again.
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Castles Culture and Log Cabins
So you want to get away from it all for a few days? somewhere peaceful tucked away in the woods where your alarm call is the birds twittering and the sun shining through the trees. Do I know of such a place? indeed I do and just a couple of miles north of St Clears in Carmarthenshire you can find Woodland Lodges.
A friendly family run site with log cabins that sleep from two up to groups of eight people, all the cabins have their own sauna which is a nice addition to what is essentially a base to explore South West Wales. Each cabin has all you need to self cater during your stay, shower or whirlpool bath, a fridge freezer an oven with grill, microwave, toaster and a television it's all there, everything is run on electricity so make sure you have a supply of pound coins, one warning the electric meter will whizz round like a whirling dervish if you spark up the sauna.
St Clears is split in two by the busy A40 which hurries the traffic westward to Pembroke Dock and by-passing the quiet little town which has some nice pubs and a couple of excellent prize winning butchers cum delicatessen where locally produced food can be obtained for cooking back at the cabin.
Heading south out of St Clears on the road to Pendine Sands and Laugharne the brown signs direct you to Dylan Thomas' Boathouse and the village of Laugharne with it's ghostly mediaeval castle on the estuary of the River Taf. It is reputed to be the fictional town of Llareggub and the inspiration behind the Thomas play 'Under Milk Wood'. It's other claim to fame is that actor Neil Morrissey loves the place so much he bought one of the pubs Browns Hotel which he sold in 2004 and still has an interest in other property nearby notably the exclusive Hurst House Hotel.
Laugharne has a plethora of pubs ironically three of them are within a stones throw of Temperance House but for good home cooked food try Greens restaurant by the car park, they offer organic local produce but beware if you are peckish between 3 and 6pm as rural Wales is shut.
You can find the grave of Dylan Thomas and his wife Caitlin in the churchyard, a simple white wooden cross is all that marks the great writers last resting place. Most pubs around St Clears and Laugharne have pictures of Thomas on the walls and they all claim he was a regular. Thomas spent most of the last four years of his short life in Laugharne not always sober and often quoted 'an alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you'....no wonder most people assumed he drank himself to death.
Take a walk along the cliffs westward away from the castle up through wooded cliffs and the coast path will lead you along the shore until just before the quarry you cut back into Laugharne where you can walk through the churchyard and then down to The Boathouse where Dylan Thomas lived, now part tea rooms part museum it can be visited as long as you arrive well before 3pm. Just along from the Boathouse is Thomas' writing shed, if not the most expensive shed in Britain it certainly has the best view, this culture trail is well trodden in the summer months when American tourists swarm down to see the great mans house and writing shed so avoid the high season.
After a wander around Laugharne a visit to Pendine Sands is a must, the vast stretch of beach with firm solid sand where land speed records were made and broken in the twenties by Sir Malcolm Campbell and J.G Parry-Thomas. The Museum Of Speed on the beach houses 'Babs' the motor car with a massive 27 litre aero-engined car driven by John Parry-Thomas who was to lose his life on the sands when Babs drive chain broke at a speed of 170mph almost taking his head off. The car was buried in the sand after the accident but was recovered and restored and returned to action on the beach in the seventies. I wanted to open up the modest 1.6 litre 16v engine on my new Renault for a blast along the beach to see what it can do but unfortunately the beach is in MOD hands now and all motoring activities on Pendine Sands are strictly prohibited especially between the hours of 1500 and 1800.
On the way back take a drive to Llansteffan just a few miles south of Carmarthen and climb the steep hill to the castle high on the cliffs. Llansteffan Castle is magical for as many reasons as you care to make up and mercifully unlike in England it's free to enter and not blighted by those twin spoilsports health and safety. Climbing on the ramparts gives a fine view out over the Tywi estuary and makes a wonderful playground, if I had a sword and shield I'd have been running around the place for hours. At low tide you can walk down the zig-zag steps from the south of the castle to the beach below for a spot of beachcombing or a walk on the sand.
This part of Wales is full of spectacular walks, loads of pubs and restaurants and a very friendly welcome from the locals, try the Butchers Arms in St Clears it's on the way out of town on the Laugharne road you'll get good ale and food including real chips something that South Wales is particularly good at, none of your frozen rubbish here just good locally sourced produce and scenery to take your breath away.
Woodland Lodges can be found via http://www.hoseasons.co.uk/
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Operational Difficulties
Once again it was proven if proof were needed that ITV shouldn’t be allowed within a country mile of any live sport.
From 8pm we endured a feisty but not particularly exciting Merseyside FA cup tie and into injury time the only goal of the game went to Everton except we didn’t see it.
Some incompetent had pressed a button and on screen was an advert for BT that after thirty seconds disappeared, we cut back to Goodison and see lots of blue shirted players congratulating each other. Nice one ITV the only goal in almost two hours of football and you managed to miss it.
Add to this the needless studio comments of Andy Townsend minus his sidekick the table, last seen on the side of the pitch at Borussia Dortmund in the Champions league. Steve Ryders’ apology of sorts was not enough, ‘we’re sorry that some of you may have missed the goal due to operational difficulties’.…an operating difficulty? Someone must have been sat reading a paper not realising the game had gone to extra time then pressed the button for an advert.
When Manchester United won the Champions League final in 1999 after being one nil down with three minutes to go ITV went to an ad break immediately the final whistle blew, no scenes of joy for us to witness as United won an unlikely treble. ITV Sport have had ten years and more to get it right but still they cannot even begin to compete with the BBC.
I have been critical of the Beeb especially Messrs Lineker Hansen and Shearer for their unswerving favouritism towards the rich four clubs but I thank my lucky stars that when Pompey won the cup it was on BBC without any adverts unscheduled or otherwise.
From 8pm we endured a feisty but not particularly exciting Merseyside FA cup tie and into injury time the only goal of the game went to Everton except we didn’t see it.
Some incompetent had pressed a button and on screen was an advert for BT that after thirty seconds disappeared, we cut back to Goodison and see lots of blue shirted players congratulating each other. Nice one ITV the only goal in almost two hours of football and you managed to miss it.
Add to this the needless studio comments of Andy Townsend minus his sidekick the table, last seen on the side of the pitch at Borussia Dortmund in the Champions league. Steve Ryders’ apology of sorts was not enough, ‘we’re sorry that some of you may have missed the goal due to operational difficulties’.…an operating difficulty? Someone must have been sat reading a paper not realising the game had gone to extra time then pressed the button for an advert.
When Manchester United won the Champions League final in 1999 after being one nil down with three minutes to go ITV went to an ad break immediately the final whistle blew, no scenes of joy for us to witness as United won an unlikely treble. ITV Sport have had ten years and more to get it right but still they cannot even begin to compete with the BBC.
I have been critical of the Beeb especially Messrs Lineker Hansen and Shearer for their unswerving favouritism towards the rich four clubs but I thank my lucky stars that when Pompey won the cup it was on BBC without any adverts unscheduled or otherwise.
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
New Year Resolutions....I'm Still Working On 2008
At the beginning of 2008 I did resolve to not use my blog as a vehicle for random ranting at things which wind me up, you may have noticed I failed, spectacularly.
Among the subjects of my rantings were the BBC, most notably Match of the Day, EasyJet passengers, The Daily Mail, Brussels, Pompey not wearing their proper kit anymore and mental Madeiran taxi drivers.
I thought I was doing well and as autumn kicked in I was not guilty of a single rant in October or November but now...I'm afraid all that pent up rage is going to vent forth.
Wandering into the Albert Road Co-Op in Southsea I spied a display of cards, nothing new there you may say, well this time last week the card rack contained Christmas cards which is fair enough but today........today the rack holds Valentine cards. According to my diary February 14 is the prescribed day for this annual event which makes a man either a romantic hero with enough brownie points in the bank to last until at least May or a hopeless, uncaring, unimaginative loser who will be reminded of his sentimental inadequacies in the romance department for the rest of his life.
What on earth is going on? December 30 and Valentine cards on sale, cast your mind back to September, the shops were full of Halloween items and then fireworks. Guy Fawkes Night also known as Bonfire Night or Fireworks Night is an annual celebration on the evening of the fifth of November. Which incidentally in case anyone had forgotten celebrates the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605 in which a number of catholic conspirators, including Guy Fawkes were alleged to be attempting to blow up Parliament, so why are the shops are selling fireworks from 9 September?
What happened to the magazine collections? that's the usual post Christmas fare. Tent Mallet Monthly "Buy issue one get issue two free....issue one comes with a complimentary felt drawstring mallet bag"........"this fantastic collection builds into a thirty-six volume set that you will want to keep forever".
As soon as Guy Fawkes Night has petered out in a hazy smog of cordite and bonfire fumed cloud the bloody shops hit us again.....this time with Christmas......and then long before the turkey has even been stripped so bare as to only have legs to go into a curry the adverts start for the sales. "Sale starts 5a.m.....Sale starts 7a.m" My heart goes out to the poor souls who work in the shops and have to get up at some unearthly hour while still digesting their sprouts, Christmas Pudding, Port and Stilton.
Then while out observing in the frenzy of sale shopping I spotted a dinosaur along the High Street, mortally wounded and wobbling on it's last legs, with a final "everything must go" kicking of the legs it gave in to the extinction which has been forced upon it by the giant supermarkets. It was a sad sight as the beast finally toppled over, the vultures moving in to pick the flesh off the still breathing but barely alive body of a British institution, the voracious public flocked in to graze on the remains without a care for the Woolworths staff who are facing New Year without a job.
So as 2009 approaches once again I will resolve to be more tolerant and not rant at things that wind me up but I know it's a lost cause, much as my ranting at the non-stop commercialism with which we are bombarded throughout the year will be.
I wish you health and happiness for the new year and I'll leave you with a few predictions for 2009.
Tony Adams signs Nigel Quashie to bolster his beleaguered midfield.
Portsmouth Northern Quarter plan scrapped in favour of building new medieval style stocks for shaming and punishment of miscreants.
Redknapp leaves Spurs to concentrate on taking Southampton down to League One.
Gordon Brown wins Strictly Come Dancing.
A whole day passes without Tony Adams without making a statement to the press.
Gordon Brown is the first to be voted off "I'm a Celebrity".
Someone in the South-East of England will get a mortgage.
Among the subjects of my rantings were the BBC, most notably Match of the Day, EasyJet passengers, The Daily Mail, Brussels, Pompey not wearing their proper kit anymore and mental Madeiran taxi drivers.
I thought I was doing well and as autumn kicked in I was not guilty of a single rant in October or November but now...I'm afraid all that pent up rage is going to vent forth.
Wandering into the Albert Road Co-Op in Southsea I spied a display of cards, nothing new there you may say, well this time last week the card rack contained Christmas cards which is fair enough but today........today the rack holds Valentine cards. According to my diary February 14 is the prescribed day for this annual event which makes a man either a romantic hero with enough brownie points in the bank to last until at least May or a hopeless, uncaring, unimaginative loser who will be reminded of his sentimental inadequacies in the romance department for the rest of his life.
What on earth is going on? December 30 and Valentine cards on sale, cast your mind back to September, the shops were full of Halloween items and then fireworks. Guy Fawkes Night also known as Bonfire Night or Fireworks Night is an annual celebration on the evening of the fifth of November. Which incidentally in case anyone had forgotten celebrates the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605 in which a number of catholic conspirators, including Guy Fawkes were alleged to be attempting to blow up Parliament, so why are the shops are selling fireworks from 9 September?
What happened to the magazine collections? that's the usual post Christmas fare. Tent Mallet Monthly "Buy issue one get issue two free....issue one comes with a complimentary felt drawstring mallet bag"........"this fantastic collection builds into a thirty-six volume set that you will want to keep forever".
As soon as Guy Fawkes Night has petered out in a hazy smog of cordite and bonfire fumed cloud the bloody shops hit us again.....this time with Christmas......and then long before the turkey has even been stripped so bare as to only have legs to go into a curry the adverts start for the sales. "Sale starts 5a.m.....Sale starts 7a.m" My heart goes out to the poor souls who work in the shops and have to get up at some unearthly hour while still digesting their sprouts, Christmas Pudding, Port and Stilton.
Then while out observing in the frenzy of sale shopping I spotted a dinosaur along the High Street, mortally wounded and wobbling on it's last legs, with a final "everything must go" kicking of the legs it gave in to the extinction which has been forced upon it by the giant supermarkets. It was a sad sight as the beast finally toppled over, the vultures moving in to pick the flesh off the still breathing but barely alive body of a British institution, the voracious public flocked in to graze on the remains without a care for the Woolworths staff who are facing New Year without a job.
So as 2009 approaches once again I will resolve to be more tolerant and not rant at things that wind me up but I know it's a lost cause, much as my ranting at the non-stop commercialism with which we are bombarded throughout the year will be.
I wish you health and happiness for the new year and I'll leave you with a few predictions for 2009.
Tony Adams signs Nigel Quashie to bolster his beleaguered midfield.
Portsmouth Northern Quarter plan scrapped in favour of building new medieval style stocks for shaming and punishment of miscreants.
Redknapp leaves Spurs to concentrate on taking Southampton down to League One.
Gordon Brown wins Strictly Come Dancing.
A whole day passes without Tony Adams without making a statement to the press.
Gordon Brown is the first to be voted off "I'm a Celebrity".
Someone in the South-East of England will get a mortgage.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Achilleswatch
Three months after rupturing my achilles tendon I'm now walking without the special boot that kept me from falling over, I felt so confident I even went up to London without it on Saturday.
I did take my patent wooden curved handled NHS walking stick though, given to me by the physio department at St Marys Hospital in Portsmouth. With a flat cap and green jacket I'd look like a cast member from Last Of The Summer Wine.
The walking stick is great it acts as a forcefield a kind of total exclusion zone around my leg, especially useful in Commercial Road, we all know how invisible we become when popping into town for a bit of shopping, nobody can see you. So when an oblivious texting teenager or self obsessed student approaches and doesn't move out of my way they are greeted by the stick out in front of the injured leg.
The stick was almost captured at Upton Park on Saturday, as I limped up to the turnstile an overzealous security man in a bright orange jacket said "leave that 'ere mate"......"no way" I replied.........then he added "you aint taking that in there" ......I could see a battle of wills developing here and even explaining about my injury to him he still wasn't allowing my stick to enter. I then felt a hand on my elbow, it was another orange jacketed man who began steering me to a huge gate "hello sir lets open the door for yer, can't av ya going froo the turnstile, ere Sally open the gate fer the gentleman and take his ticket, there yer go sir enjoy the game".
Well I just couldn't resist turning round and smirking at the first orange man, I nearly raised the walking stick and went "nerrrrrrrrr" at him but didn't think I should push my luck.
On the tube the stick also had magic properties a kind man gave me his seat on the district line, this did cause me a problem as the train was packed and in my good fortune I was now stuck because two stops on I had to change to the Jubilee and I couldn't get off. "Stick do your work", a few prods on feet and on the back of a leg or two saw a way through and like Moses parting the Red Sea the stick had got me a passage.
I don't expect you to condone this behaviour and in fact I ought to monitor my stick wielding antics as it seems to be prematurely ageing me. I caught myself watching Countdown the other day and pressing the mute button whenever an advert came on, especially a Christmas advert, what next, New Tricks? Deal Or No Deal?
I did take my patent wooden curved handled NHS walking stick though, given to me by the physio department at St Marys Hospital in Portsmouth. With a flat cap and green jacket I'd look like a cast member from Last Of The Summer Wine.
The walking stick is great it acts as a forcefield a kind of total exclusion zone around my leg, especially useful in Commercial Road, we all know how invisible we become when popping into town for a bit of shopping, nobody can see you. So when an oblivious texting teenager or self obsessed student approaches and doesn't move out of my way they are greeted by the stick out in front of the injured leg.
The stick was almost captured at Upton Park on Saturday, as I limped up to the turnstile an overzealous security man in a bright orange jacket said "leave that 'ere mate"......"no way" I replied.........then he added "you aint taking that in there" ......I could see a battle of wills developing here and even explaining about my injury to him he still wasn't allowing my stick to enter. I then felt a hand on my elbow, it was another orange jacketed man who began steering me to a huge gate "hello sir lets open the door for yer, can't av ya going froo the turnstile, ere Sally open the gate fer the gentleman and take his ticket, there yer go sir enjoy the game".
Well I just couldn't resist turning round and smirking at the first orange man, I nearly raised the walking stick and went "nerrrrrrrrr" at him but didn't think I should push my luck.
On the tube the stick also had magic properties a kind man gave me his seat on the district line, this did cause me a problem as the train was packed and in my good fortune I was now stuck because two stops on I had to change to the Jubilee and I couldn't get off. "Stick do your work", a few prods on feet and on the back of a leg or two saw a way through and like Moses parting the Red Sea the stick had got me a passage.
I don't expect you to condone this behaviour and in fact I ought to monitor my stick wielding antics as it seems to be prematurely ageing me. I caught myself watching Countdown the other day and pressing the mute button whenever an advert came on, especially a Christmas advert, what next, New Tricks? Deal Or No Deal?
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